Life Style
Birth Cermonies
Among the Nadars, a number of rituals are performed before and after the birth of a child. They begin when a woman is taken to her parents' home for her confinement and end when she returns to her husband's house after the birth of the baby. These ceremonies are little affected in-spite of modernization. Such functions bond the matrilineal and patrilineal kinships and is continued even among the most urbanized of the Nadars. Another ritual called the "Seventh Month ceremony" is held for the pregnant girl. She is adorned with glass bangles on that day and those would be broken off only on the labor day as a custom.
Another ceremony in which the child's ears were pierced and was given gold earrings to protect it from diseases was held after the child completes six months or more. But now this function has been regarded as old-fashioned and has fallen into disuse. The child's first shaving of the head has also been equally neglected of late.
Initiation Ceremonies
In contrast to the Nadar birth ceremonies, initiation rites involving Nadar boys have completely disappeared. Hindu boys have to go through the process of wearing the scared thread when they were 12 years or still younger. And then there was the annual renewal of the sacred thread. Christian boys are permitted into the church associations only after they are baptized. This process may take place immediately after birth and can be postponed till 12 years or more. After 15 years both boys and girls have to confirm their faith in the Christian association when a function is held depicting the first taking of bread and wine as Jesus himself.
The puberty ceremony for girls appear to be now less common than once it was, especially among the urban, wealthy and educated families. It is now performed in rural areas only. It was a way of telling the public that the girl was now ready to be married. Since Nadar girls now tend to get married several years after attaining puberty and since many of them feel something a bit of embarrassing of making a public display of a girl's attaining puberty the function is not held nowadays. Other reasons include the geographical disposition of the Nadars and their inability to attend such less important ceremonies.
Marriage Ceremonies
In earlier days the two preferred marriages for a Nadar man are to his elder sister's daughter or to his cross -cousin. Alliances were mostly confined to families of same status. Rich families married into their kins to protect their wealth. Another expectation was that marriage within the family would ensure better care for the ageing parents. The traditional preferred form of family among the Nadars is the joint or extended family. Here two or more married men who are closely related as son and father or sons live in one household with their wives and children and who all share a common kitchen and a common purse.
Among the Nadars of today, the marriage network has started expanding. Contemporary middle and upper middle class are going afar in search of suitable alliances for their children. In their efforts to achieve upward mobility and protect their interests, the Nadars have made certain adaptations to their kinship system and marriage practices. Other changes appear to be unintentional consequences of social and geographical mobility.
Nadar marriage rituals embrace the betrothal, the night before the wedding and the wedding itself. The betrothal is usually celebrated one to three months before the wedding. But nowadays because of the geographical distribution of the populace it is held on the night before marriage itself. Some are now performing the betrothal on the night before to do away with the need for an extra feast and making it unnecessary for guests to make two separate trips. Usually the groom's family goes to the house of the bride where the function is held. The amount of dowry and the amount of gold jewelry to be given as gift to the girl by her parents are settled during the betrothal day. The date and place of the wedding are also set.
The Nadar groom earlier used to dress in a dhoti and sport the sacred thread. But nowadays they are in suits and shoes . The Nadars spend considerable amount of their savings for the marriage of their children. Lavish weddings are common among the wealthiest families. The central part of the ritual is the tying of the "thali", which the groom puts around the brides' neck. It happens in a "Kalyana mandapam" or a temple in case of the Hindu Nadars and in churches in case of the Christians. The Christians also exchange rings and Bibles during the betrothal ceremonies.
The week following the marriage " Sampanthi Virunthu" is held where the bride's family and the groom's family have dinner at each others place. After a month or so the newly-weds fly off to their place of work and start up their own nuclear family.
Death Ceremonies
Death ceremonies which existed during the early 19th century survives even today in the remote villages and rural areas. The local association is informed when a Nadar dies. The clerk of the association then informs the relatives and notifies the barber whose duty is to conduct the ritual.
In case of Hindus, the corpse is bathed, dressed and then taken in a palanquin in an upright chair-like position. The bodies of widows are usually laid down flat. The chief mourner under the guidance of the local barber performs the ritual. Nadar women do not accompany the male mourners to the river to obtain the purification water and also to the cemetery area.
Earlier the chief mourner used to shave his head .But nowadays such explicit showing of grief has been put down. Blowing of conches along the funeral procession is also done in case of the Hindu Nadars. Then on the third day another ritual is held. If the dead was a man, then the widow is asked to remove all her jewelry especially the thali into a pot of milk which was then used to wash the cemetery of the deceased . But these days such practices are slowly declining. Most Nadar widows just display a smaller proportion of their jewels and wear light colored sarees.
